I often highlight the importance of mothers having the opportunity to express love and to receive love from their babies through mindfulness-based music listening. Through this process, mothers use the music to help focus on their babies and tune into the little ways their babies say, “I love you.” An essential part of this process involves growing and resting in the knowledge of their own lovableness.
This concept relates to self-perception because it is easy judge loveableness based on how we perceive ourselves, and we often perceive ourselves based on our behaviors rather than our inherent dignity. While motherhood is a tremendous journey of growth, filled with achievements and disappointments, this experience can feel less like a tumultuous roller coaster and more like a scenic road trip through hills and valleys when you are grounded in the truth of who you are as a beloved individual.
While your baby is sleeping and you have some moments to yourself, I invite you to engage in this song by mother and musician, Ellie Holcomb. If you feel comfortable, close your eyes and breathe along to the music. Remain present to the music and to yourself. Gently let go of worries or disturbing thoughts as they appear, and then return back to the music with compassion for yourself and how you are coping with this difficult time.
Now, I don’t know which lyrics will impact you the most. However, I want to emphasize these words…
“you are wanted… not because you are perfect…
I know that you don’t think you’re worth that kind of grace,
but look into his face you’ll know….that you are loved.”
Similar to the message I’ve been sharing on my podcast and articles: your worthiness of love is not dependent upon your abilities. Just like your baby, you are loved because you are. Rest in that as you listen to this song. Be open to the lyrics that impress upon your heart…
“You are Loved” by Ellie Holcomb
These words not only remind you of the essential truths of being wanted and loved…but also where to look for it. Part of what I do as a music therapist for mothers and babies is help mothers lean into their maternal perspective and view their children as gifts- despite the struggles they are encountering. This perspective is difficult to lean into when challenges arise, however, that is why we implement mindful music listening daily. To practice letting go and leaning in!
Later on, as you hold your baby, turn on some gentle music that you like, and observe your baby lovingly. Notice the turn of his head toward yours, the fluttering of his eyes, his small smile, and relaxed posture….even that continual heartbeat which beats for you…and “look into his face you’ll know…that you are loved.”
To listen to more of Ellie Holcomb’s truthful music, visit her YouTube channel and stay connected via her website: https://www.ellieholcomb.com/
She also composed an album of children’s songs, reminding little ones how all of creation points to the truth that they are loved. You can find and listen to the songs here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fNsoXsyeUE0&list=PLPssRtJdUV11oy3HnGWBMO0mpf3U5npbU
For more resources to support maternal mental health and create a culture of wellness within the family, continue to check-in on this website and follow the Facebook page at https://www.facebook.com/MusicTherapyforMom